The Eye Among the Mist




In our life, we all have a wild mist either maybe in ourselves or could be in some of the person we admire. The feeling of such a mist brings joy as well as curiosity among us. For me, mist couldn’t be defined as just a person, it was way more than that. It was a feeling of comfort, a sense of assurance, a sense of comradeship among daily hustles. I don’t exactly know what the mist was. Maybe some call it love, some call it affection, I call it divinity.

Whensoever I talk to myself in the depth of my emotional thoughts, I find the same mist surrounding me as a cover to the amnesia that I might want just to forget. This brings comfort to me. The eyes, maybe those dark eyes, go beyond visual attributes. They get deeper into our consciousness. They just don’t watch, they feel, they dream, and they can tell a story to my internal consciousness. This might be or not what I would ever wish for, but it is surely what my mind wanted, just someone who could understand me. The dilemma that gets attributed to the discourse that follows. It’s much more than mere knowledge of what I feel. It’s an altogether feeling at large. Coming back to those eyes. I do not know how my mind could ever comprehend those eyes. They are way beyond what I ever imagined. They are way beyond what I can imagine. I feel there’s a world out there yet to explore, maybe comfortable, but roses come with spikes. Maybe I am not competent enough to understand what those eyes want me to do. I don’t know am I doing well or not, wherever I am. Whatsoever I am feeling, whatever I may be doing, I feel grace of those eyes always digging into my thoughts.

People who ride a lot may relate to what I mean. We always have a special place, a place that we may move once every then and think of it as a wow, but I want those eyes to feel the same wow with me. I feel with me the eyes as well are conscious. Some call it a mix of consciousness, some may explain it as a time and conscious disorder. Why should I care? The same eyes comfort me. It’s a her what can I say, what can I feel, the presence says it all. Even while I am penning this, I feel the same eyes guiding my fingers, as between the Q and M. Whatever way it matters. But I cannot recall when the eyes came to existence. Was it my destiny or just a coincidence? I also could feel a smell second to none. The thing that comforts me the most, it is mist, maybe the eyes here as well. Why cannot I? It’s not of what to compare, rather what I feel. The eyes make my thought clear and at the same time cluttered. It rains my thoughts and wets my ideas. I feel her presence always. A feminine energy maybe, maybe a subconscious entity or maybe a person who knows except those eyes.

Once I dared to ask the same question to my mind: why the eyes? The answer still awaits, or maybe the silence is the answer. The silence of my mind is what I need. Maybe it is nothing more than what I already have. When I look back, I feel at the end it’s always good. It is not always that you should have an answer, it is not always that you should be answerable. Sometimes silence speaks as well, and sometimes maybe. What truly matters is those eyes motivate me to grind higher. I sleep well because the eyes keep me subconsciously active. Maybe I feel comforted always because the eyes stay awake.

And those eyelashes, I feel as sometimes maybe these are the cage that keep us binded, or it is a protection to something we didn’t want to happen. If I would have to connect them, some lines would echo in my mind as Jagjit Singh echoes:

“aur is par sitam ye adaayen teri, dil hai aakhir kahan tak sambhalta rahe.”
“sirf shabnam hi shaan-e-gulistan nahi, shola-o-gul ka bhi daur chalta rahe.”
“tere chehre pe ye zulf bikhri huyi, neend ki godh mein subah nikhri huyi.”

But what I can surely say is the eyes are one of the best things that have ever happened to me. I can be forever grateful to something that soothes me like those eyes. Penning this comforts those eyes as well. Still, who knows, maybe it was all just an excuse of mine to understand divinity, but what I understand is she is divine herself for me.


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